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Caring for Yourself as You Care for Others

Family and friends are important to all of us, and when someone you care about is hurting, or otherwise in need of help, it is bound to impact you as well.

If the person you are concerned about is not at Cornell, you may spend a lot of time worrying, and wishing you could be there to help. Calls and e-mails may not feel like enough, even if you are being told that there's nothing more you can do. Sometimes, however, students are still expected to play a critical role at home (or within a group of friends), so figuring out how much time you can allocate to managing a situation can create even more stress for you.

Don't take on more than you can handle

Remember that it's not your job to fix your friend's problems or be his/her only source of support. Signs that you may be in over your head include feeling overwhelmed, anxious or confused; thinking you are the only one who can help; or noticing your friend's problems are adversely affecting your life. Cornell has a number of resources (e.g., "Let's Talk" walk-in hours) to assist you in managing the worry or stress that caregiving can elicit.