Sexual Decision-Making and Relationships

We learn about sexuality and relationships in many different ways. Some of the early lessons may come from family, religious or spiritual advisors, and school. You may spend many late nights with friends conversing about sex. You may also be bombarded by the various media industries that promote messages about sex and sexuality-- some of which may be positive and empowering, and others that confuse, demean or offend.

How do we make sexual decisions that are right for us when faced with so many conflicting images and communications? How do we know what to want and expect from a healthy relationship?

Get the information you need. Find opportunities to ask questions about healthy relationships, protection from disease and unplanned pregnancy. Go to workshops, lectures, Health Promotion in Gannett, and reputable internet sites to learn about relationships and sexual activity.

Connect your brain with your body. Sexual desire can make us do things we hadn't intended. Understand how your desires and fantasies may get in the way of concrete thinking when you need it most.

Explore your sexual feelings fully.  Who are you attracted to and why? Is what you are feeling simply desire or something more complex? Are you attracted to someone of the same sex or opposite sex and how does that feel to you? How strong are your desires?

If you have a partner, talk with him/her about what you want from the relationship. Find out what they want. Then try to establish some guidelines together about the ways you will treat each other, how you will resolve conflicts, how to deal with sexual situations and challenges.

When you hear "no", do you think "maybe"? Consider your own assumptions about sexual activity and availability. How do you know your partner/date is interested in engaging in sexual activity? ASK.

You've heard it before. Alcohol use can impair judgment. If you drink (or use other drugs) you may be unable to follow though on your decisions.

Be creative. Sex is not the only way to be close to someone. Use your own creative ways to show someone you care.